House Cleaning

A while back when I was debating splurging on paying for house cleaning (after I gave birth to our second child) a friend of mine told me that once you have more than one child (she has six) paying for housework is not a splurge: it's a necessity.  There's something in Jewish tradition called "shalom bayit", she told me: "peace in the home".  She said for the sake of "shalom bayit", once you have more than one child, factor in paying for housecleaning like you would any other bill; it's essential to a happy home, she said.

I assented on the phone, less because I believed her and more because I felt like she'd given me permission for what I still considered a splurge.

Two days ago, my perspective changed.  I had, for about three months, outside help to clean our home.  It's not very big, just the first floor of a two family in New England.  Wood floors, no carpet, easy right?  We started at twice a month but as I took stock of our meagre finances, I soon whittled down both the frequency of the cleanings and the price for their infrequent occurrences.

No matter how infrequent their visits, I still looked forward to them, the date of their arrival flashing in my mind as I saw the Cheerios roll under the sofa, or the bed, or the bookcase.  And then the day comes and I'm trying to contain my excitement while the mantra "in an hour and a half my house is going to be sparkling clean" plays in my head.

And then they don't show up. (It's not the first time, but when they clean so well and cost so little, you make allowances.)

I call to be told some lame excuse, AGAIN, and this time I'm done hearing it.  It's fine, I tell myself, we need to save the money anyway.  I'll just clean the floors myself.  If two people can clean my house, floor to ceiling, in 90 minutes, then surely I can clean just the floors in an hour...

I put the baby in her crib with some playthings and gated my two year old in his room (he has plenty of toys in there, right?)

Almost as soon as I mix the bucket full and start in on just the kitchen, my two year old is trying to climb over the gate in his doorway.  He wants to help.  I sigh.  Fine.  Here's a sponge.  I use all natural cleaners so I figure it's fine for him to get his hands in it (see Shaklee link for the most amazing product of the Get Clean line, Basic H2).

Immediately he's scooping up suds and I'm sorry I caved so quickly: but I'm halfway through the kitchen and can't reverse that decision now.

The baby starts to fuss.

I do their room as quickly as I can...my son runs in with his sponge sopping wet...and casually stands with it over his bed.  I start to get edgy.  "Stop that, don't you see what you're doing, not in your bed." Oy, this was not what I wanted.

The baby starts to whimper.

I get to the playroom (what used to be our dining room) and start in as best I can.  I look up and see my son up to his elbows in dirty floor water.  "Don't do that, that's dirty water, here, here's the clean water", I show him the other half of the divided bucket and then return to the mop.

The baby is crying.

My son runs in...RUNS in and falls twice on his way on the wet floor so by the time he gets to me he's crying...and sopping wet...and still holding his sponge saturated with Basic H2 cleaner...dripping all over him and the area rug I had just moved out of my way.

The baby is hysterical.

"What are you doing running like that, I told you to stay in your room, it's all wet here...

The baby is screaming.

"Get out of here, get out!" I shout at him.

And in that moment it was over.  In that one moment I told myself, I'm done.  I looked around.  The floors were half done, the kitchen still had sinks full of dishes, and I hadn't even started on cooking my son's lunch.  "Shalom bayit", I heard my friend say, "peace in the home".  I apologized to my son for my unnecessary outburst and got him into dry clothes.  Only then could I pick up the screaming baby and sit down, utterly exhausted, to nurse her.  In that moment, sweating and redfaced and pissed off and disappointed in myself, I decided I was going to find reliable, affordable, cleaners, because there are plenty of moments when I can't avoid becoming demon-mommy: cleaning the house doesn't have to be one of them.